I believe that for me to continue in my sobriety and in my recovery from addiction, proper guidance and support from others is absolutely key. If my numerous relapses have shown me anything, it’s that I can’t do this thing on my own.
When I think about guidance, the first thing I think of is my Sponsor. She is my patient listening ear, and my most trusted advisor. I know I can go to her and get the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I know that when I talk, she is truly listening. Her presence in my life is one of the most comforting things to me, because I know she doesn’t have any underlying motives. She is there for me simply because she loves me, and because she understands that to continue growing she must help others like myself.
So if I haven’t stressed it enough in previous posts or made it clear yet in this one, I really, really, really recommend you get a Sponsor. I believed in the power of goodness within my Sponsor before I could ever muster the courage to believe in a Higher Power that I personally choose to call God.
I used to feel so angry and frustrated at God. For most of my life, actually, that was my attitude about a Higher Consciousness. In my hours of pain and sadness and confusion, I would go outside and scream at the sky, “GOD! WHERE ARE YOU?”
And nothing would ever answer like it did in the movies. This drove me nuts, and fueled atheism within me as a child.
But when I started working with my Sponsor, we had a conversation that shifted my perspective on a Higher Power.
Me: “You always say the best things! It’s so wise, and exactly what I need to hear.”
Sponsor: “Well, I don’t know where it comes from any more than you do. When I see that you’re calling, I take a moment and ask God for help. I ask God to speak through me so I can be of service to you.”
It was this moment that I began to consider that God may not speak to me straight from the sky like in The Lion King or Bruce Almighty – Instead, my Higher Power speaks to me through the people around me. My Sponsor, my friends, the people at the 12-Step meetings?
It has taken a lot of courage for me to accept that God is my strongest guidance system, whether it comes in the form of a spiritual experience, divine inspiration, a burning bush, or a simple phone call with my Sponsor. The power of Love in this Universe is in constant contact with us, always watching over us, guiding us in our daily lives if we will only lay down our pride and take a little time each day with Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
I like to think of my connection to my Higher Power as a literal channel. My job is to keep that channel clear. How do I do that? I go to 12 Step meetings every day, I read the recovery literature, I take time to pray and meditate, and I am of service to my fellows. This keeps my mind and heart clear, so that when I need it, I will be able to hear the guidance and feel the limitless love and support that comes from God and from the people in the Fellowship.
I will leave you with a quote that I read every day: “When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in the worlds of time.” -The Work of the Chariot
If you or a loved one needs help with abuse and/or treatment, please call the WhiteSands Treatment at (877) 855-3470. Our addiction specialists can assess your recovery needs and help you get the addiction treatment that provides the best chance for your long-term recovery.