Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Anyone who has gone to a 12-step group such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous knows the Serenity Prayer well. You may have heard this prayer a number of times and perhaps recited it yourself several times. While repetition has its advantages, simply reciting the prayer can lose its significance. Taking a deeper look into the lessons the Serenity Prayer teaches, can help you apply it to your recovery in a more meaningful way.

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Understanding the Serenity Prayer: History and Meaning

The Serenity Prayer is believed to have been written by Reinhold Niebuhr, an American theologian and Christian writer, in the 1930s. It quickly spread through Niebuhr’s sermons and church groups in the 1930s and 1940s, eventually being adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other Twelve-step programs. Today, it is often recited at both the beginning and end of every 12-step meeting. Many other support groups outside of the 12-step community have also utilized the prayer.

It focuses on four main ideas: serenity, courage, acceptance, and wisdom. Many people have found this simple prayer as a powerful tool to get them through desperate situations, providing peace, strength, and wisdom. The Serenity Prayer’s main message is to let go of situations beyond your control and take action towards things you can control, while also knowing to know what is within your control and what isn’t. The prayer also emphasizes acceptance and to live in the present moment.

Although it is commonly used by those in addiction recovery, the Serenity Prayer can be used by anyone. People often use it when they are faced with a difficult situation, as a reminder in their daily life, or as a mantra. Repeating the verse can have a calming effect when feeling stressed or when craving drugs or alcohol.

How the Serenity Prayer Supports the 12-Step Philosophy

12-step programs are a popular set of guidelines used to help individuals in recovery. Originally created by Alcoholics Anonymous, this tool has been adopted by other support groups and recovery programs to help individuals with substance use disorders understand their journey. The basic principle of this model is that people can help one another achieve sobriety from substance abuse, but they must surrender to a higher power. This higher power can be anything that fits the person’s spirituality, whether it is God, the universe, or simply the 12-step community.

12 step program prayer

The Serenity Prayer fits perfectly into the 12-step program’s spirituality. It helps people let go of control, which is thought to be a main driver of addiction according to Alcoholics Anonymous. Trusting in a higher power can help to turn to a spiritual source of strength in order to achieve sobriety. The prayer helps individuals examine their inner lives and how they cannot control their feelings. They can, however, influence their feelings through what they can control: their thinking and actions.

The Importance of Acceptance in Recovery

One of the main lessons in the Serenity Prayer is to acknowledge there are things out of your control and accept it as it is. Acceptance is not something that comes easily to everyone, it often takes practice and time to process. Finding acceptance for the things out of our uncontrol can provide peace of mind and allow us to live in the moment.  Spending time worrying about things out of our control can create a state of anxiety and denial about reality. We will spend time trying to change things we cannot through worrying. Accepting that we cannot change certain things will help get us out of a state of anxiety and into a place of serenity. It can also help in overcoming obstacles, breaking free from denial, and placing focus on healing and growth.

Finding Courage to Change in the Recovery Journey

Courage in the Serenity Prayer means having the strength and determination to do what is within your control. It enables us to deal with problems and reality without relying on alcohol, drugs, or self-destructive behavior to get through our issues. Finding courage is the ability to say no to alcohol or drugs when faced with temptation because that is the change you need to make. We can find the power within us to keep making positive changes and pushing forward even when things get tough. It can also help us have the strength to ask for help. The road to recovery is a long one, with many ups and downs, so courage will be necessary for all challenges that lie ahead.

Gaining Wisdom to Know the Difference: Practical Applications

Wisdom is knowing what we can control and what we cannot, which allows us to know when to practice acceptance and when to practice courage. Acquiring this knowledge can be difficult for anyone, especially when wisdom can be clouded by anxiety when we are overpowered by our own thoughts. Often, our thoughts can lie to us and tend to overgeneralize with thoughts consisting of “always” or “never”. Luckily, this skill can be learned but also must be practiced.

Learning to identify what you can and can’t control is a crucial skill for recovery and co-occurring disorders. There are always going to be things in our lives we cannot control, such as situations, events, responses from others, and our own emotions. Focusing on what we can control rather than what we can’t is also an excellent way to know the difference. Often, gaining wisdom is to take a moment to analyze the situation. Some ways to practice wisdom on what we can control include:

  • Stop before you react and know you can choose your response.
  • Ask yourself what you do NOT have control over in this situation. This can include how others respond or of the past.
  • Ask yourself what you have control over. For example, you have control over how you respond, where you put your attention, how you respond to your emotions, and how you talk to yourself.
  • Ask yourself: What is the most helpful way to address this situation?

Integrating the Serenity Prayer into Daily Recovery Practices

The Serenity Prayer can be part of your daily reflection. Reciting the prayer every day can help remind you of acceptance and courage while analyzing what areas in your life are causing negative emotions that you can control. It can also be used when there are active moments of stress, fear, or weakness. The prayer can also be used to live in the moment by focusing on what we do have, living one more moment at a time, and accepting hardships are ways to learn and grow.  It can also be used as part of daily journaling to record reflections inspired by the Serenity Prayer.

Call WhiteSands Treatment to Begin Your Addiction Recovery

The Serenity Prayer and 12-step programs can be excellent tools for recovery. However, for successful long-term abstinence from drug and alcohol abuse, comprehensive treatment programs are needed to help address the underlying causes of addiction. WhiteSands Treatments provides patients with personalized treatment plans focused on individual therapy including cognitive behavioral therapy and psychotherapy. We can help you explore various types of treatments and support groups, including 12-step programs to find what works best for you.

You do not need to struggle with addiction on your own, please call us today at (877) 855-3470. Our addiction specialists are available to answer any questions you may have or to get you started on your journey toward addiction recovery.

If you or a loved one needs help with abuse and/or treatment, please call the WhiteSands Treatment at (877) 855-3470. Our addiction specialists can assess your recovery needs and help you get the addiction treatment that provides the best chance for your long-term recovery.

About the Author

Jackie has been involved in the substance abuse and addiction treatment sector for over five years and this is something that she is truly eager about. She has a passion for writing and continuously works to create informative pieces that not only educate and inform the public about the disease of addiction but also provide solutions for those who struggle with drug and alcohol abuse.