‘Friend of Bill’ and Other AA Phrases You Should Know

As you go through your journey toward recovery, you may join a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). Along with learning new ways of thinking and coping, you may learn some rules in these groups as well as new phrases. Alcoholics Anonymous lingo, saying, and phrases come from founders Bill Wilson and Bob Smith, as well as some new ones developed over the years in the organization. This article can serve as a guide to unique AA phrases and coded language, such as ‘Friend of Bill’.

Understanding ‘Friend of Bill’

‘Friend of Bill’ is a euphemism used in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) that allows members to refer to other members in the support group while maintaining anonymity. The term “FOB” is also used as a shortened version. For example, someone may say “Are you a friend of Bill’s?” when looking for an AA meeting discreetly. This coded phrase is aimed at protecting anonymity within the group. Anonymity is one of the core principles of AA. Members need to keep other’s identities, and anything said in meetings strictly confidential.

It has found its way into various uses, offering a discreet call to the community. For example, the term ‘friend of Bill’ is also used as a code at airports, which are big trigger for some as it tends to involve alcohol. AA members may ask flight attendants to put an announcement over the intercom asking for any friends of Bill to make themselves known if they are struggling and would like another AA member to provide support.

Common Phrases in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)

Shared terminology in alcoholics anonymous has provided members a discreet way to ask for help or speak in public while protecting the identities of participants. Furthermore, sharing common phrases and lingo fosters a sense of community and increases cohesion within the group. When someone asks “Are you a friend of Bill’s?”, they are asking if you are looking to attend an AA meeting. Some other common phrases in AA include:

‘90 in 90’. This means 90 meetings in 90 days and is the practice of attending an AA meeting every day for 90 days in a row. Newcomers are recommended to make meeting a daily habit for the first three months to gain a solid foundation in recovery.

Higher Power. A subjective term to describe a supreme deity or greater power than oneself, but does not need to be connected to any religion or spiritual belief.

Working the Steps. Refers to how all AA members work through the 12 Steps, or phases.

Big Book. The Book of Alcoholics Anonymous describes the 12-step program and how someone can recover from addiction.

Carry the Message. While the primary purpose of AA is to help members stay sober, they are also encouraged to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.

Sponsor. Experienced AA members can serve as mentors to newcomers and help them follow the 12 steps, provide support, instill hope, and help keep the sponsee on track.

Dry Drunk. This term refers to someone who has stopped drinking but has not taken steps to participate in other recovery services or taken actionable steps toward recovery.

Chips. AA members receive coins to mark milestones such as 90 days or a year.

It Works if You Work It. This phrase refers to employing the AA fellowship, working the 12 steps, and implementing the steps into daily life.

Key Concepts in AA

AA is an international organization of peer groups that meet to support each other. They use the 12-step approach to reach recovery, often with the help of a sponsor. Alcoholics Anonymous has several key concepts which include 12 spiritual principles of recovery and 12 concepts of world service. The 12 spiritual concepts of recovery include acceptance, hope, faith, courage, patience, honesty, humility, brotherly love, integrity, willingness, self-discipline, and service.

The 12 steps in AA are guiding principles on how to avoid triggers and live a healthy life. AA was founded on the principle that people with addiction have fallen out of control of their life and help walk people through various processes to gain control back. Some principles include admitting they have an addiction, that they are out of control, and need help from something bigger than them. The 12 steps can be broken down into the following three key stages:

• Surrender. Admitting they are powerless over addiction, and they must seek help from a higher power and others.
• Spiritual Awakening. Individuals in AA must thoroughly examine themselves and their actions, admit fault, and work towards improving themselves spiritually.
• Service. Members must continue to practice the 12-step principles while helping other addicts start and continue their journey toward recovery.

Meeting Types and Terminology

Meetings are typically listed as “open” or “closed” meetings. Open meetings are open to people with and without an alcohol use disorder. This typically means AA members and their loved ones including community members, coworkers, bosses, and anyone else interested in learning about AA may attend. Meetings may include a speaker who talks about addiction and recovery topics, members telling their stories of alcohol use and recovery, and an open discussion about an AA topic.

Closed meetings have closed speakers and closed discussions similar to open meetings but are not open to the general public. These meetings are only for AA members or those with drinking problems who have a desire to stop. Both open and closed meetings are free to attend, with no intake process, and an expectation of anonymity and privacy.

Beginner’s meetings are aimed at helping newcomers familiarize themselves with the community. They focus on the foundations of early recovery to avoid relapse, offer resources, and provide literature on recovery. They also help newcomers get started on the 12 Steps and often members complete their first three steps in beginners’ meetings.

Some communities hold AA meetings focused on individual needs, referred to as demographic-specific meetings. AA is useful to many as they are a community of individuals who have shared similar experiences. Demographic-specific AA meetings include men’s and women’s AA meetings and LGBTQ AA meetings. These meetings can help connect individuals working towards recovery to find communities with more specific shared needs.

The Importance of Language in Recovery

Words carry weight and meaning. The language used when discussing recovery and individuals with substance use disorders (SUDs) can affect whether someone completes treatment. Many individuals with substance use disorders struggle with how they view themselves, feelings of guilt and shame, and self-esteem. Negative connotations about drug or alcohol addiction can be triggering and endorse stigmas surrounding SUDs. Person-first language in addiction recovery helps to approach people with SUDs from a nonjudgmental and compassionate place. It can help them see themselves as people and not the disease. For example, calling someone an addict or an alcoholic can be demeaning. Instead, use the term ‘person with alcohol/substance use disorder’.

How WhiteSands Treatment Supports AA Principles

Alcoholics Anonymous is the world’s largest recovery support service and has helped many people stop drinking. However, some people may need further treatment to help them on their journey towards recovery. WhiteSands Treatment offers comprehensive drug and alcohol addiction treatment programs that can provide the type of intensive and structured treatment some people may need. We create personalized treatment plans made up of various types of evidence-based therapies, including group therapy. Our treatment plans help support patients practicing the 12 steps and can provide other patients with resources or support groups to get them started on the 12 steps.

If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol misuse, WhiteSands Treatment can help you get started on your journey towards recovery. Please give us a call today at (877) 855-3470 to learn more about our treatment programs or to get started on the admissions process.

If you or a loved one needs help with abuse and/or treatment, please call the WhiteSands Treatment at (877) 855-3470. Our addiction specialists can assess your recovery needs and help you get the addiction treatment that provides the best chance for your long-term recovery.